In January 2020, I was full of beans, ready to take on the year and attack my goals.
In January 2021, I just feel stuck.
I think it might be a combination of things: another lockdown that is set to go on for many months, little to look forward to, maybe even the change of pace after the excitement of daily posting for blogmas.
Whatever it is, I know one thing for certain:
I need to stop telling myself I am stuck.
Power of Words
From successful leaders to authors and even your teachers at school, words have influenced your life. Yet there is no more powerful word than the one we tell ourselves. Especially if it’s one that comes from anxiety, doubt and a feeling of not being good enough.
For some reason, whatever we tell ourselves, we believe. How powerful is that?
However, the words we are most likely to believe, are those that break us down, not build us up. Those beliefs that we are never going to achieve our goals, or fulfil our role. Those beliefs that we can’t do something, that we aren’t clever, we can’t get a promotion or meet someone with whom to spend our life.
Which begs the question – what makes us the authority? If we are only willing to believe the bad over the good, shouldn’t we find out if that is true?
Finding the Evidence
If there is one thing we are good at, it’s providing evidence for our inadequacies. It may be just one single event where we made a mistake in our action or judgement that leads us to a train of thought, but in the end, we believe it so strongly that we see the evidence everywhere.
Or are we only looking for the evidence that supports that thought? Are we failing to see the alternative arguments?
Who put this thought in our head? Was there an ulterior motive for initiating that thought? Was it one seemingly innocuous comment that started a lifelong insistence that this was the real you?
Perhaps we need to ask other people what they think. Can they provide alternative evidence that supports the thought that the reverse is true?
That’s one route. However, we need to be careful not to place too much weight on this external validation and place more emphasis on ourselves. Can we find our own evidence of times when we excelled in the area that we are currently suggesting we are deficient?
Turn the Tables
If we always believe ourselves, what we need to do is start telling ourselves good things. Telling ourselves we are capable. Instead of saying you can’t write, call yourself an author. Live that feeling. Instead of saying you will never be any good at playing your guitar, call yourself a musician – or a rock and roll star!
If I start talking about affirmations, I’m sure there will be a few eye rolls, but you know, if The Greatest boxer of all time, Muhammad Ali, thinks it’s a good idea, then who are we to argue? Repeating positive statements to yourself, that affirm that you can achieve something, will help spur you on.
Instead of telling myself I’m stuck, I’m going to tell myself that I’m making progress. It’s just a little slower than planned. I’m going to celebrate the wins whenever possible and in my weekly review and plan the next thing that needs doing.
The most powerful words are the ones you say to yourself – so take advantage of that and make them good.
What words are having the most influence over you right now? What action are you going to take to change the negative effect? Share in the comments below.
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Until next time, remember, if the excess baggage is weighing you down, you can always leave it in lost luggage.