Some people just seem to know how to be confident. They can walk into a room without looking furtively around or messing with their hair or blushing.
We think to ourselves, why can’t I be more like them? We wonder why we weren’t born with confidence but confidence isn’t a character trait. It’s a feeling. It’s a belief in something or someone.
We can be confident that if we don’t put fuel in our car then it will stop running. We can also be confident in our inability to do something.
What we need to foster is positive confidence and increase our feeling of confidence in ourselves.
How To Be Confident
Like the boy scouts, being prepared is a key to being confident. Lots of people say that they hate giving presentations. As a natural introvert, you might expect this from me, too. However, I really don’t mind – as long as I know the content thoroughly, I’m quite happy to present to a large crowd of people.
It will be difficult to be prepared if you don’t work hard on improving your skills and knowledge. This can apply to both work and social aspects. We can lose confidence when we don’t know what to say to others in social situations. Having a bank of topics to talk about that get the other person to talk more takes the pressure off you.
Don’t Believe the Nay-sayers
When you already have some doubts about your ability to do something, it’s easy to go along with other people who think the same thing. Instead of agreeing with them, make sure it isn’t to do with their own lack of confidence that they are projecting onto you.
Oh, and watch what you say to yourself, too.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Remember everyone else has insecurities but some of them do it anyway. Perhaps they have already put in the hard work or perhaps they have someone doing the hard work for them. Just because you aren’t making the progress that they are doesn’t mean that you won’t get there in the end. So stop comparing yourself to them and focus on what you need to do.
Remember the Wins
Whether it was being top of the class in a test at school or the first time you iced a cake and received high praise, these serve as reminders that you do have the ability to do things well. Keeping these in mind when you are doing something that scares you will help to increase your feeling of confidence as you do them over and over.
Having confidence, therefore, comes from repeatedly doing something over and over until it becomes second nature. You might still blush though!
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Until next time, remember, if the excess baggage is weighing you down, you can always leave it in lost luggage.